Let me put a few situations out into the mix. Deborah wrote yesterday, "what internal framework do we each use as tools to sort through ‘sticky situations’ and make the ethical choices? Are those frameworks similar or very different? What part does experience play in helping us to set ethical boundaries?" Great question Deborah, and we only know for sure what our framework is as we expeirence, and pay attention not so much to how we would like to be making choices but how we are actually doing so.
It seems to me Jesus is re-interpretting the ancient rules, re-working the way rules are applied and choices are being made. "You have heard it said...., but I say...." And I believe everyone must to do exactly that. We all "hear it said" that some things are right and some things are wrong, and at a certain point we have to finish the sentence for ourselves (But I say ...). Yes Deborah. Experience, along with scripture, tradition, reason, and a whole lot of conversation teaches us what we wil say, and do.
Hmm... Brings to mind a prayer. "May the words of my mouth, the meditations of our hearts, and the actions of our lives be acceptable in your sight O God, our strength and our redeemer."